Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Two Kinds Of Artists

I've been trying to think this through, and honestly distracting myself from finishing a big project due tomorrow, about what kind of professional I am and/or desire to be. My professor talks about how a writer wants to write everything. I start to say yes but then I remember how picky I am about the topics I want to talk about and start to think again. It's like when I wanted (and still want) to be an actress but became picky about the roles I wanted to take or when I was in choir and got frustrated about not being allowed to change the notes to a song. What exactly am I then? Then I came up with this theory, that there are two types of artists.

The first kind of artist is one that is in love and/or embraces the form of which they are involved in. They will play any song, perform any role, and write any piece. They are in love with the language, the notes, the colors, or the methods. They follow the rules involved. They will back behind any direction their field will take as long as it's for the best intentions.

The second kind of artist is one that is in love with a cause or message. They will do what it takes to get that message across. Their songs will break new boundaries and not be afraid to break the rules. Some examples are Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix. They would not be caught dead taking a part, singing a song, painting a picture, or writing a book that contradicts what message they back behind. They are like activists only they may not necessarly be the ones that goes to Washington D.C., pick up a sign and march around a building.

Both of these type of artists exist for mass audiences to see, hear, read, watch, whatever today. Neither one is bad to belong in. The first kind of artists are more likely to change with the times (like Mariah Carey) and adapt to what audiences like at the time. The second kind of artist is more likely to bring up no-no topics and stir up controversies and/or group support for whatever relating to those topics. Both are needed and necessary in a Democracy.

I think I used to be in group one and I believe that I belong to group two now but I think an artist doesn't truly see what they are because of a biased lens that serves an artist to succeed in the first place.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Why Do We Care?!?

It's not the first time it's happened nor will it be the last but I still see it as a very stupid situation. I'm gonna use a Myspace example (classy, huh?). There's this guy that I never thought about in high school. All I remember is that he was always in my choir classes my middle and early high school years at Union. He was normal, average, nothing special. Neither was I. One day he just messages me on Myspace and admits he wanted to hook up with me in high school. That's cool. Nice to know. Still, I'm not gonna be mean to him cause he seems like a nice enough guy to be friends with. Probably not the best idea. He doesn't try to even get to know me as a person. All he messages are pick up lines to try to get lucky with me. I know part of it is now some act he feels he needs to play since he's trying to be punk with his clothing and huge gaudges on his ears, but still he has no respect for me whatoever.

I'm not naive. In reality, I bet there's not one guy I'm friends with that has never thought once about what I would be like in bed. I'm not bragging. I say this not because of how I look but because I have boobs and a hole to play with. It's embedded in a male's DNA. I get that. But how do I respond to this? I haven't yet. I hadn't messaged anything but he doesn't seem to get the hint probably because I tried originally to be friends. How stupid of me!

It's that same senerio, wheither one likes the guy or not. First we debated back and forth on wheither we do what we want to do, what we believe we should do, or what he wants to do. Then if we decide to please him, then we debate about what he's actually wanting us to react. Are we being prude? Is this too slutty? Should I play hard to get or will he just go away? Then after we make a decision, no matter what choice we make, we are always questioned. Maybe not right that minute (depending on the answer) but in the end, we feel like we need a lawyer to defend our case because he's the master of making us feel that our decisions are not good enough.

Then I start to think why do I even give a shit? Sticking with the Myspace example, I hadn't seen this guy in probably five or six years and maybe excluding the ten year reunion may never see this doucebag again. Plus why do we as women always feel like we have to explain everything? It's not their business! We were born seperate from the womb as him. We are our own person! Don't be afraid to be a bitch if it's necessary.

I guess I need to log in and practice what I preach, huh?

Monday, November 30, 2009

Diet On The Holidays?!?

Diet on the holidays? I can't say that I started yet. Last week was Thanksgiving and can honestly say I gained five pounds in that time frame. Ouch!!! Yeah, not sexy. It's so hard though to stay good when there's chocolate pies, turkeys, sweet potatoes, and other family member stuffing their mouths around me. So today I'm back on campus, looking at all the food establishments, and see a sad sight. We are destined to be fat.

First, there's Burger King promoting a five patty burger with large fries and drink. Who needs a five patty burger? Isn't that enough? Plus there's cheesecake. Not a big fan myself but that doesn't mean other people wouldn't be. Then next door is a ice cream place and it's the only place I know I can get a birthday cake shake. Yum!!!

Next there's a buffet place. It does have healthy stuff inside like green beans and corn but it costs $10 to get in (and I haven't found a way to sneak out food yet) so I fill compelled to stuff my face in everything, including ice cream.

There's the Cate center. It also has healthy stuff but cost twice as much as the fatty quesadillas that's so tempting to my taste buds.

There's a smoothie place I like to go to, which I do if I fall behind the workouts, but they also can be pricey. Still worth the effort.

There's Crossroads.24-7 Ga lour of french fries, omelets, burgers, and anything else high on the calorie chart. If healthy is the goal, the options are sushi (pricey), salad and/or a piece of fruit. Fun.

The cafeteria has Chinese food, Italian food, Quizno's, the laughing tomato, and Chicfila. Again, that leaves salad and a piece of fruit for diet options. Maybe soup too if it doesn't have much sodium.

That's it. So what do I want to do if I really want to lose weight? Live on fruits and salad? Empty my checkbook? Even starve myself? Why isn't there as many options for a healthy person as for the couch potatoes? We're human too!

What if instead of pop and snack machines, there were fruit machines? Would that increase its popularity? Maybe have celery sticks be dispensed for fifty cents or something. The drinks could be V8, Vitamin Water, Milk, and Water. Just a thought.

Can somebody help a girl who doesn't want to buy bigger pants here?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Somewhat Homeless

I'm usually a little more responsible than I had been the last couple of weeks. I'm not a math genius but I still had a sense of budget. What steered me away from these usual habits? The excitement of New York City or over reliance of money I thought was coming but had already came? Let me explain.

I had my first credit card used for the NYC trip expecting to stick on a budget until my Cherokee scholarship came to cover the costs. I had at that time asked bursar three times if the money had came and swore it never did. I didn't research how much everything actually cost in NYC, but still I didn't worry because I had money coming in, right?

Wrong!!! After the trip, I talked to people granted the same scholarship and realizing that they received their money two months before. I decided then to find out where my money went once and for all. After searching for fifteen minutes in their systems with a busy line, we finally figured out that the money did come in August but because of the conversion to OZONE showed my tuition costs just at $2900 without proper representation of the money showing up instead of it actually being $4200 and the money being subtracted.

So no more money until next semester? Nope.

This makes me panic. A little. Because of me being gone a week from work, my check went bye bye just this last Friday paying immediate bills. I also only have enough money on the credit card to get a week worth of gas. I need two. What to do?

Going to mom's for Thanksgiving is out of the question but is not as big of a deal because my dad's side lives near Norman so I won't be alone. However, my grandparents (I live with them currently) live thirty minutes away from school and work. Between the two, I need to drive everyday. I also don't have a dependable driver to take me anywhere. How can I make sure this gas money lasts?

Go back to my Grandparents house as little as possible.

This translates to spending nights in Norman. I don't really want to be a burden on anyone though, especially since this is just until the next paycheck, so my place of sleep will be on campus. I hear that the Union stays open 24-7 so I know I have a place to sleep. Kind of.

It's Thanksgiving Break this week so a lot of spots will be closed. I spent last night in my car in one of the parking lots, but since I kept my car off so to not kill the battery, I almost froze to an icicle. To make it worse, the shower at the Huff wouldn't spit out warm water for the first five minutes. It was also interesting to brush my teeth outside with the water bottle being the source for rinsing.

So far, I plan on spending two more nights in Norman, tonight for sure at the Union, before spending two nights back at the Grandparents house. I also know that I could easily spend the next Sunday thru Thursday on campus again with no issues, but I still haven't planned out this Friday or Saturday night out yet. Campus will be mostly closed and yet I will have to be in Norman for work both days. Maybe calling a friend is needed after all. We'll see how the gas tank is looking then.

I packed some food. That part hasn't been an issue yet since lots of free food was given out today. It may not be true in the future so I'll worry about it when that gets here.

I gotta write more details when this is over. Both mom and dad will freak when this is found out. However, I know neither one can help me right now and I got to do what I got to do. Carry on.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Looking Through My Phone

So I'm procrastinating, which is nothing new, and I keep trying to distract myself. There's only so many times I can check Facebook. I decide to look down my phone's address book to see who to start conversations with. I really don't have something to say today though (well, the information I want people to know). Still, I scroll up and down, up and down, over and over again. What do I see in these people anyways?

There's always family members on my phone. For most people, that's a duh. It's kinda hard to tell though who are actually my relatives. Who's really going to tell which Jessica is actually my little sister? Only I do!!!

There are old coworkers. The past is our main topic of choice. Past issues, past situations. They're nice to have to look back on and know one survives that era, but they shouldn't be best buddies with me or I to them. It's not far to our futures.

There's my girls. The ones I can send the most random crap to and not be left on the streets. We live and breathe each others happiness and make sure to make each other feel like bombshells after a pep talk when we were upset. Doesn't matter if we actually are. We feel it.

There's the flirts. Self-explanatory. Do I need to say more?

There's the buddies from school. The late night Pizza that we shouldn't have to celebrate a test being OVER!!! The library buddy when we actually do what we're supposed to.

There's the current co-workers that serves as a partner in favors and a frustration outlet of our one shared place.

There's the party people. If one's bored on a saturday night, they'll be doing something. Always!!!

I seem to have a lot of married couples. Both the wife and husband's number. No, none are in the flirt category. These are faithful couples that usually serves best as a place for advice and stability.

I'm single so no boyfriend's number. I've never attempt to keep my ex's number either. Everything happens for a reason. Move On!!!

Places I want to intern at someday. Keep my fingers crossed.

There should always be a mother (or for guys, father) figure and they should be in your phone. No questions asked! If one has both, great plus!!!

The gay guy (typically just women have these). The one to go to when having a fashion meltdown or when a bad breakup just happened. They'll make things controllable in no time. Plus it's the only time my hair gets fixed in general.

Lastly, there are those numbers that are only kept for references.

I'm sure there's more categories, but that's all I can think of. Fell free to add more.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Bad Timing

I think bad timing is part of life itself, or at least mine. I'm scheduled to work when I have fifty million papers to do and yet when I'm bored out of my mine, there are zero hours available. The gym is never open when I have the time to work out. The classes I want to take conflict with a class I need to take. Lastly, I met the people I want to meet at the worst possible times.

First was my first official boyfriend, Eric. I was a high school senior determined at the time to go to the biggest out of state school possible and be the next big journalist (before I learned of its censorship during the Bush era). He was a well-to-do college freshman studying Pre-Med and his plans were to become a physical therapist, find a good woman, and settle down near his parents in our hometown Tulsa. Nice in theory, but when you put an over-ambitious girl who still needed to grow up with a content Tulsa who tried to speed her up to do so, problems occurred. He was a great guy but breaking up with him was one of the best decisions I could make for myself.

Then there was Natasha, a woman at my work that was detirmined to distribute a R&B album ad had asked me to be her back-up vocals for that album. That decision wasn't really that hard to make since, although I like R&B, our creative styles didn't mix and she eventually decided not to produce it after all, but if she would of asked me to give up everything after college, maybe I would of considered it.

Guys never seem to like me when my life is normal and I know where I'll be in the next month (although now that I think about it, when does this occur). They ask me whenever I'm moving, he's moving or we have different directions we want to go. Joe, the new york guy, we had chemistry. We met at a TCC class we had together. However, a month after we met, he got a full ride scholarship to a liberal arts school in Chicago. Then there's Ben, a pre-med student as well, but I knew at this time that I was going to OU and had no bussiness starting a relationship when I would just leave. He still asks but I say no. Then there's the cute mexican exchange student I met at the OU gym, but to my luck, he's going back to Mexico after this semester ends. Crap! And there's always the losers at the bars trying to hook up with me, but I didn't think they really count. I don't by the way, but I'm infamous for being a tease.

The last thing, which inspired me to write this blog, involves my latest trip to New York. I went there to get connections. Of course though, I mean during the day, while I'm in the buildings of Time, Coste Nast, and others involved with the magazine and publishing industry. I go to a sports bar one night to relax and meet some of the locals. I wanted to see what it would be like to be there.

At first, it was simple, met some older ladies that were goofy as hell. Found out that New York drinks are quite stronger than Oklahoma's. Only takes two to do what four at home would feel to me. Of course, a guy hits on me, trying to get me drunk quicker with straight vodka shots, but he looked like he would pass out any minute, so I didn't feel bad bringing him the bad news. I think they found him on the bathroom floor later that night.

As my group of ladies were leaving, a blond sits at our table and smiles. I'm more of a black and brown hair man (except the ex I mentioned earlier was blond) but he caught my eye. There was chemistry but then, to impress me of course, he mentions (which I researched and it's true) that he's a touring guitarist for Keith Urban.


This, unknown to anyone else, puts me in a tight situation, both career and reputation wise. I'm in New York to make connections. He's a connection. Yet, I liked him before I knew of this. If anything happens, even with not sleeping together, I'm still that girl that dates my way up to the top, and I don't want that. What to do. What to do.

I think I'm overstressing anyways to be honest. We flirted with texts for awhile and talk about who he's meeting at that moment, but I don't think he likes me as much as he did. And it's fine. Although I'd like to stay in touch, I understand if we don't, and if it's that easy to make important friends anyways, I'll just make more.

I'll make them on purpose and in an honorable way.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Traveling Tips For The Poor Person

I love to travel. Now that's out of my system, there's one thing I need to let out: I'm poor. It's not a new fact and it's not a scary one either. Certain things may just be more complicated to accomplish. I'm going to New York for the first time but only because, with this economic crisis, it makes things cheaper. At first, I hesitated because with being poor comes a stronger need to be practical and not waste money away, but I changed my mind. If there's not much hope to being rich within the next ten years, why just let those years go away? So maybe I can't get the five star hotel near the shores of Hawaii? There's many ways to explore beautiful places without breaking the bank.

1) I aim for places I know people at. Why spend a couple hundred dollars for a hotel when there's an old high school friend of mine willing to share space with me? There may be some inconviences such as how warm the rooms are and tolerances on alcohol, but a plus is definetly the local factor. They know the city/town enough to get the best pizza, hangouts, and getting connected with new people and all for a cheaper budget than I orginally planned.

2) If it's less than two days away (if vacationing for at least a week), drive! It saves so much money in the end, especially if it's last minute. For example, when I try to buy roundtrip tickets (with Southwest) to see my Dad in Albuerqurque, NM, it costs me over $500. To drive there and back costs around $125. Huge difference. This works great especially with groups because drivers can switch off and not have to worry about motel costs. If alone, unless extremely brave, maybe limit this standard to one day.

3) Look around for bargains. Almost anything can be found for a cheaper price. A $65 concert ticket through the venue can easily be $40 through other sources. Always research before dealing with scalpers. Unless the tickets are VIP or box seats, most tickets did not reach the $300 mark originally. Especially with the inventions of EBAY and Craigslist, there's no excuses!

There are many more tips, but that could go on for days. Many people want to still have lives, but can't necessarly live the lives Paris Hilton and Rhianna have. No fears. Traveling can still play a part of our lives by just being smart and a little less prissy.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Middle

I'm pretty much in limbo right now. Nothing of real importance is going on in life in general. Everything about me lies with being in the middle. It's the middle of the semester. It's the middle of making new friends since I'm a transfer student. It's in the between stage between finding out about the New York trip and actually going there. Lastly, it's the middle of life. I'm not new to college but not finished. I'm exploring who I want to be but have not established myself completely. I've passively searched but have not found my soul mate. Plus I am still alive. At this point, I can either succeed or fail in life.

In one of my classes this semester, my professor reveals a belief that the Greeks carried within their souls. "No one can truly know happiness until the end is know." Maybe, but wouldn't by that point make its meaning too late to be appreciated? Too much emphasis is placed on the beginning and end of anything, but, like for example, in writing, the writer's skill is shown through the middle details the piece of writing provides. Anybody can start a story by wanting to get to the store and the end getting there, but the flat tire or the bus full of hippies wanting to run the protagonists over is what the reader wants to dig its claws on.

Sometimes though, the middle gets ignored until the end arrives. For example, Michael Jackson's death made the press less focused on his masks and focused on the videos with Jackson 5, his Thriller album, and his talent as a musician. Eventually, someone will be touched by someone's middle details.

So instead of getting bored or stressed or frustrated, I'm gonna start enjoying the middle. How about you?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Forbidden Fruit (also on BlogCritics.com)

The recent comedy Year One references the forbidden fruit. The movie pokes fun at biblical accounts, but watching it I thought about how everybody has a forbidden fruit, something we want but we know will cause things to turn chaotic after we taste that delicious bite. For some, money is that fruit, especially if achieved by mob or gangster methods. For others, it's a beautiful body ready to touch despite its dangers.

For my father's side of my family, and me, it's wanting that foreign blood. Usually the features are black hair, dark skin, some sort of accent, and some major cultural differences. Metaphorically, we are the vampires, and they are the blood we want to suck. But usually, if we act upon those feelings, the results are disastrous. I'm not saying people shouldn't date somebody who's different. I'm a huge believer in interracial relationships. I'm just saying my family hasn't learned to find that happy medium yet.

The most famous case in the family is my Aunt Loretta's, maybe because hers was the most disastrous. My family can be super-religious and not open to cultural changes, and this occurred back in the 70s, near the beginning of the feminist movement, with some women still more concerned with finding a future love instead of having a future. Being very rebellious, Aunt Loretta became pregnant with an Arabic man's baby. The father's race shouldn't have been as big of a shock as it was, with one of her two sisters also married to an Arab (and that marriage being somewhat successful even today). But because he was Muslim, clashes were understandable.

They then moved to Iran for two years. I'm not sure which of the many stories from that period are true and which are just rumors, but I do know that the once carefree girl became a fearful woman who lost her son (the two most popular stories are that there was a forced abortion, and, alternatively, that the child was sold to another Iranian family). She got her other sister in trouble with the law (giving the sister no choice but to sue Loretta in court), and has been living on welfare ever since. She stays jobless and rarely leaves her room. She's scared of the FBI and of her ex-husband coming after her, and I'd like to call her crazy, but I can't tell whether her tales are real or fake. Maybe she can't either.

Then there's my dad, the hopeless romantic. Perhaps learning from his sister, he avoided dating women with extreme cultural differences, but is famous for walking the line. Growing up during the 60s and 70s, he became very much the womanizer, seeing in his mother what he did not want in a wife. His father, who never got past the sixth grade, got much of his education from old movies, fighting in the Korean War, and the times he lived in. He too was a womanizer – his first marriage ending because of his affairs with Asian women. Not wanting to recreate this history, my dad aspired to be a true head of his household and man's man. His problem was that he fell for and married women with very independent minds and cultural differences, and expected them to fit that traditional role once they got married. All three of his former wives have mixed backgrounds, being just white enough to not be looked down on by his family. My mother is very much Cherokee and Creek, and although having the most white persona of the three is physically the darkest. That marriage may not have been as big of a deal, because his family also has native blood (though it can't be proved). The other two wives, although very white-looking, have Hispanic roots in very different, unique ways, know Spanish, and frequently visit Mexico. The clashes between my dad and the wives were constant, and hearts were broken.

I've been the most hesitant person in my family about dating in general, not just with the forbidden fruit. Because of my dad's, my mother's, and my own experiences, I have even questioned whether marriage should be in my future. I've even considered acting like a whore for a couple of years and moving on, but I know that's not the best thing to have my heart go through. I show a tough exterior, never crying in public, and searching for weaknesses to fix, but I do have buried deep inside a hopeless romantic who cannot be killed.

My first encounter was in middle school and actually involved African Americans. My mother's side of the family is very much against interracial marriage. I could be friends with people with different backgrounds, but dating anyone different than me was out of the question. Many of my (mostly non-immediate) family members might not even show up to my wedding if I break this rule.

In eighth grade I was new to the school district, and an African American friend asked me out. I rejected him partly because I feared his intentions, since I was not very cool back then and had had many pranks played on me. But to this day I remember the other reason I said no, and it still haunts me: he was black, so he was not someone I could date.

I wasn't brave enough to stand against this injustice at that time, but after a couple of years went by, the situation came up again, and I did not want to make that same decision. That night, I asked my mother, who is the main parent I listen to, the following question: "I could understand if the man was a gang-banger who wanted to break into people's houses and stuff, but if the guy was responsible, has a good head on his shoulders, and treats me well, why does it matter whether he's black or not?" She couldn't answer the question for a long time. She thought about it and finally could say only this: "That was the way I was taught."

She admitted that she would be hesitant if I brought home someone neither white nor Native American, but said that she never wanted me to judge people by the color of their skin and that I would have her approval. From then on, that's what I've gone by. The other family members can kiss my butt. I almost dated that guy, but realized I just didn't like him in that way, black or not. But although I don't purposely pick out men from different races to date, I will never again turn down a man because of it.

I've had many crushes on men quite different from me and almost dated some of them. There was the Greek guy I worked with (that was more of a crush, since he was banging my boss); a Catholic New Yorker (not exactly a different race, but when you're from the Bible Belt that still counts); a dark and handsome student from London; an Arab in a college class; and most recently, a foreign exchange student from deep Mexico (so far down that there are no American teenagers smoking pot in the streets). I met him at the University gym. It's too soon yet to tell whether it's just a crush, an almost, or possibly someone I will date. Only time will tell.

Maybe my point is that moderation needs to be the key. We shouldn't completely avoid the possible loves in our lives, but also shouldn't plunge into a relationship with someone from a very different background without thinking first. Both approaches can have bad consequences. Maybe if the "race" word can be abandoned for good, and we start looking for soul mates based on the qualities they have inside, that forbidden fruit can turn into a healthy snack.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Melting Shoes

Okay, so I go camping yesterday, and we have this fire, and I put my feet up by the fire pit's wall to warm my feet and the rubber off the bottom of the right foot is falling off now because it melted the glue. OMG! I felt like such a dumb butt! But hey, I'm not the only one. Let's brainstorm some famous dumb moments in history, shall we?

1) Whoever made laws in Tulsa, Oklahoma during the turn of the 20th Century was high. Seriously. There a law stating whaling to be illegal in its city limits. Okay, when you see a whale in Tulsa, OK, let me know okay?

2) Kayne West's recent speech in the VH1's award shows. Okay, it's Kayne West. He's known for being a very talented asshole, but he usually step down on people that probably deserve it, especially the papperazzi. But Taylor Swift? He just choose nation television to make a complete fool of himself. Smart thinking Kayne. Not the best speech of all time.

3) Everytime Bush opens his mouth. I'm politically moderate, but I just don't like Bush. He made the deficit extremely large, could not lead, and started a war not based on the same reasons Americans intended for the war to be about. He will forever be a President Hoover in our lifetime.

4) A girl being offended of being hit on at the bar. More common then you think. Half guilty of it myself. Seriously, it's a bar full of immature boys looking at your miniskirt. If it really bothers you, wear a hoodie next time, or just don't go.

5) Back to historical events. During the Civil Rights Movement, White Southerners obviously very resistant to getting rid of the Jim Crow Laws, the Alabama Governer, George Wallace, promoted segregation from this speech:
"In the name of the greatest people that have ever trod this earth, I draw the line in the dust and toss the gauntlet before the feet of tyranny, and I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever."
And he wonders why he got shot at. Hmm...

There are other things, but this is starting to put off a negative tone, so I end with "If you're gonna go camping, make sure you don't melt your shoes off."

Sunday, October 4, 2009


The one reality I'm starting to learn over the years is no matter how safe one play the game, nothing's guarenteed. For many reasons, I've tried to make risks the smart way, but now I'm questioning wheither that's doing the same thing. I wonder if that passion that I'm trying to attain will disappear, and for anything worth having, passion is a necessity. One of the most obvious examples is the OU game against Miami yesterday. OU had the skills to drive Miami to the ground. They also had the support of many OU fans. OU players just did not play with passion. They didn't fight until the end and they lost. I don't want to end up like that. So I'm trying to re-evaluate everything. I know I can't answer the big questions now, but here are some little things I have passion for.

1) I'm a dog person. Cats don't come to confort me when I'm upset. Cats don't become my alarm clock on a beautiful day. Dogs do. I don't want a cocker spaniel though. I eventaully want a pug, husky, or german shepard in my home. Maybe all three, if I'm lucky.

2) I like to run. Not if I'm out of shape because it kicks my butt then. But I like to run. It lets me release my agressions and/or frustrations. It also make me feel powerful and able to do anything even if I just watched tv hours before.

3) I like to stay busy. I rather be busy than have a day of nothingness, unless it's just for unwinding. I feel I have a purpose. I want to do everything and be everything. If I have nothing left that I want to accomplish, that will be the day I'm dead.

4) Chocolate. I'm an addict. Take me to counseling; it won't help. Hahaha. It lifts my spirits. The end.

5) Lastly, I want to change the world. I don't want to talk about the usual. I have a rebellious spirit, but I think all americans do actually. I want to leave my mark on society. I want to help people. I may seem quiet at first, but I don't stay quiet for long.

There are other things, but that's what comes to mind. Maybe that's all I need to succeed. Who knows. I just need to get my head together, and maybe this list will get me a headstart.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Excited About Dave Matthews!!!

I bought the tickets five months ago to grab floor seats. Everyday, I open my wallet to stare at the tickets as I look for cash, Indian card, etc. Now it's only a week away! Yeah! I almost freaked today when I saw my work schedule me that same day, but fortunetly the shift ends four hours earlier, so it gives me plenty of time to drive from my new home OKC to my hometown Tulsa and rock out of my seat. What songs do I expect to hear?

1) So Much To Say
2) Everyday
3) Too Much
4) Ants Marching
5) Crash Into Me
6) Satellite
7) Warehouse
8) Funny The Way It Is
9) Two Steps
10) Say Goodbye
11) Lie In Our Graves
12) Don't Drink The Water
13) Tripping Billies
14) Drive In Drive Out
15) Where Are You Going?
16) I Did It
17) Mother, Father
18) The Space Between
19) Dreams Of Our Fathers
20) When The World In

I'm also excited to be back in Tulsa. I know I could always party in Brookside, Downtown, anywhere on Riverside. I'll be more relaxed. Plus it's beautiful. Yes, I'm biased when it comes to Tulsa. It rocks.
I'm not exicted to see Willie Nelson. I don't hate him, but I didn't buy the tickets for him. Now if Sheryl Crow was the opening act, I might actually care about making it on time.
I wonder how close these floor seats will actually be. I've been to concerts before, but never that close, unless it was a friend's band, but then I'd usually get stampled. I want to jump like a idiot! I don't get to at other concert because of the seats. Not too cool! So I'm ready to jump up and down.
So that's it! I'm excieted and so should you! It's at the BOK Center this friday, and if you're there, good for you, but I can't promise I'll see you! Muah!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Goodbye Freedom!!!

Well, it happened. I finally got a job. Yeah! Now I don't have to worry about how I'm gonna pay my car payment while I'm at OU. However, there will be definetly be things to be missed.

1) Sleeping Late. Okay, especially since school has indeed started, my sleep ins never go past 11am. However, it's been nice to do my homework and workout at night so I can catch up on the ZZZs. Now that I will be working after classes, guess when I will need to move some responsibilities? Hello 6am!!!

2) Making my own schedule. The best thing about quitting my last job was that I got to pick what I wanted to do when I picked to. Now I'll have someone else plan part of my life for me.

3) Not being told what to do. I'm not that much against authority, some is needed, but being very independent, I still somewhat like a animal stuck in a cage. Let me out!

4) Not working. I can't procrastinate. I'll have someone behind me at all times. Not literally, but you get the picture.

5) Doing good because I want to do it instead of doing it so I don't get fired. I don't like being parinoid but I like money, so one gotta go out the window.

6) Not having one more thing to wait in the mail next January so I can do my taxes. Plus the more I make, the more taxes I'll need to pay. But I always get a tax return back, so I really shouldn't complain.

7) Not having to ask off for events like OU Football, Dave Matthews Band Concert, NYC Trip in November and having to explain why I need them off or shoving work days on another day so my week looks tighter.

So there it is! What I'll lose. I'm sure I'll get something in return though.

Friday, September 11, 2009

I Remember 9/11

Television has a bad reputation for rotting our brains. I dare to disagree. Although I admit Family Guy doesn't teach much history or science, one great thing I can brag about Television is how it brings the world to our homes for us to see. It helped bring forth the Civil Rights Movement when millions of Americans watch Martin Luther King Jr give his "I Have A Dream" speech or see white policemen spray water on non-violent blacks. It brought joy to the Germans who couldn't be by the Berlin Wall as it fell, feeling excitement for their nation to be united again. Lastly, its how many Americans joined to discover its vulnerability and unite to build back its strength instead of letting the destruction of the World Trade Center become a isolated incident for New Yorkers alone.

That is how I remember 9/11. I was in 8th Grade going to my Pre-Algebra class when I discovered that math wasn't the priority of the day. At first, I felt excited because I had slacked off the night before. Then I became confused as I watched a building collapes to the ground and then watch live a plane crashing into the 2nd building that was beside the 1st burning one.

We watched all day, in all of our classes, as another terriorist, I then discovered, crashed into the Pentagon and how a brave passenger of another plane save another important building from being crashed into. I remember thinking that all of the adults were scared, almost like it was the end of the world.

We may have live, but things have really changed. First, my stepdad works at American Airlines. It once was one of the safest jobs one can have in Tulsa. Since then, he has always had to fight to not be fired, especially with this economic downturn, once even moving positions as his original job became deleted. Then the people changed. Once carefree in our ways, we now have become so parinoid we trust no one. Some parinoia may be needed, but many people have been judged unfairly because of it, and not just by ethnicity.

Lastly, a new question arised that we never considered a question before. What is more important: Security or Freedom? Here we are 8 years Later and still nobody can answer that question. I remember 9/11. The entire US changed because of it.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Top Three Reasons To Be Locked Out Of A Bathroom!

I woke up on a dreaded Monday morning with greasy hair and a slight stench, so I decided it would be best to take a shower before leaving for class. However, as I tried to enter the restroom, I shortly realized that I'm wasn't able to get in. It's locked from the inside. Oh no! I can't go to school like this! As I try to decide whether to wake up my roommate or not, I started to ponder on why this must of happened, and I came up with three things...

1) My roommate just received the water bill! It's the recession after all and she may not appreciated my habitual long showers that I established from other houses. She may assume, despite my savings, that my not having a job right now may tempt me to not pay my share. She may be trying to warn me that she's not one to take advantage of.

I quickly eliminated that notion because I realized that half of my showers I had taken were at OU's gym after my workouts. So what's next?

2) It's 7am! Unlike me, she doesn't have morning classes, so my running the water, opening and shutting cabinet doors, and even the sound of the fan going might be enough to drive her insane!

But why wouldn't she let warn me when she saw me last night? I would've taken the shower last night! Hey! She's a hard sleeper anyways! This couldn't be it! There's only one other thing it could be!

3) She forgot to unlock the door after taking a shower herself! Her room has two entrances to the restroom where mine only has one.

I knocked on her bedroom door to be sure. Bingo! "Oops," she said. Then she opened it immediately! Now, I might of been able to be on time for class that day if I had remembered to put gas in my car that previous night!