Two Kinds Of Artists

I've been trying to think this through, and honestly distracting myself from finishing a big project due tomorrow, about what kind of professional I am and/or desire to be. My professor talks about how a writer wants to write everything. I start to say yes but then I remember how picky I am about the topics I want to talk about and start to think again. It's like when I wanted (and still want) to be an actress but became picky about the roles I wanted to take or when I was in choir and got frustrated about not being allowed to change the notes to a song. What exactly am I then? Then I came up with this theory, that there are two types of artists.

The first kind of artist is one that is in love and/or embraces the form of which they are involved in. They will play any song, perform any role, and write any piece. They are in love with the language, the notes, the colors, or the methods. They follow the rules involved. They will back behind any direction their field will take as long as it's for the best intentions.

The second kind of artist is one that is in love with a cause or message. They will do what it takes to get that message across. Their songs will break new boundaries and not be afraid to break the rules. Some examples are Bob Dylan and Jimi Hendrix. They would not be caught dead taking a part, singing a song, painting a picture, or writing a book that contradicts what message they back behind. They are like activists only they may not necessarly be the ones that goes to Washington D.C., pick up a sign and march around a building.

Both of these type of artists exist for mass audiences to see, hear, read, watch, whatever today. Neither one is bad to belong in. The first kind of artists are more likely to change with the times (like Mariah Carey) and adapt to what audiences like at the time. The second kind of artist is more likely to bring up no-no topics and stir up controversies and/or group support for whatever relating to those topics. Both are needed and necessary in a Democracy.

I think I used to be in group one and I believe that I belong to group two now but I think an artist doesn't truly see what they are because of a biased lens that serves an artist to succeed in the first place.

Why Do We Care?!?

It's not the first time it's happened nor will it be the last but I still see it as a very stupid situation. I'm gonna use a Myspace example (classy, huh?). There's this guy that I never thought about in high school. All I remember is that he was always in my choir classes my middle and early high school years at Union. He was normal, average, nothing special. Neither was I. One day he just messages me on Myspace and admits he wanted to hook up with me in high school. That's cool. Nice to know. Still, I'm not gonna be mean to him cause he seems like a nice enough guy to be friends with. Probably not the best idea. He doesn't try to even get to know me as a person. All he messages are pick up lines to try to get lucky with me. I know part of it is now some act he feels he needs to play since he's trying to be punk with his clothing and huge gaudges on his ears, but still he has no respect for me whatoever.

I'm not naive. In reality, I bet there's not one guy I'm friends with that has never thought once about what I would be like in bed. I'm not bragging. I say this not because of how I look but because I have boobs and a hole to play with. It's embedded in a male's DNA. I get that. But how do I respond to this? I haven't yet. I hadn't messaged anything but he doesn't seem to get the hint probably because I tried originally to be friends. How stupid of me!

It's that same senerio, wheither one likes the guy or not. First we debated back and forth on wheither we do what we want to do, what we believe we should do, or what he wants to do. Then if we decide to please him, then we debate about what he's actually wanting us to react. Are we being prude? Is this too slutty? Should I play hard to get or will he just go away? Then after we make a decision, no matter what choice we make, we are always questioned. Maybe not right that minute (depending on the answer) but in the end, we feel like we need a lawyer to defend our case because he's the master of making us feel that our decisions are not good enough.

Then I start to think why do I even give a shit? Sticking with the Myspace example, I hadn't seen this guy in probably five or six years and maybe excluding the ten year reunion may never see this doucebag again. Plus why do we as women always feel like we have to explain everything? It's not their business! We were born seperate from the womb as him. We are our own person! Don't be afraid to be a bitch if it's necessary.

I guess I need to log in and practice what I preach, huh?

Diet On The Holidays?!?

Diet on the holidays? I can't say that I started yet. Last week was Thanksgiving and can honestly say I gained five pounds in that time frame. Ouch!!! Yeah, not sexy. It's so hard though to stay good when there's chocolate pies, turkeys, sweet potatoes, and other family member stuffing their mouths around me. So today I'm back on campus, looking at all the food establishments, and see a sad sight. We are destined to be fat.

First, there's Burger King promoting a five patty burger with large fries and drink. Who needs a five patty burger? Isn't that enough? Plus there's cheesecake. Not a big fan myself but that doesn't mean other people wouldn't be. Then next door is a ice cream place and it's the only place I know I can get a birthday cake shake. Yum!!!

Next there's a buffet place. It does have healthy stuff inside like green beans and corn but it costs $10 to get in (and I haven't found a way to sneak out food yet) so I fill compelled to stuff my face in everything, including ice cream.

There's the Cate center. It also has healthy stuff but cost twice as much as the fatty quesadillas that's so tempting to my taste buds.

There's a smoothie place I like to go to, which I do if I fall behind the workouts, but they also can be pricey. Still worth the effort.

There's Crossroads.24-7 Ga lour of french fries, omelets, burgers, and anything else high on the calorie chart. If healthy is the goal, the options are sushi (pricey), salad and/or a piece of fruit. Fun.

The cafeteria has Chinese food, Italian food, Quizno's, the laughing tomato, and Chicfila. Again, that leaves salad and a piece of fruit for diet options. Maybe soup too if it doesn't have much sodium.

That's it. So what do I want to do if I really want to lose weight? Live on fruits and salad? Empty my checkbook? Even starve myself? Why isn't there as many options for a healthy person as for the couch potatoes? We're human too!

What if instead of pop and snack machines, there were fruit machines? Would that increase its popularity? Maybe have celery sticks be dispensed for fifty cents or something. The drinks could be V8, Vitamin Water, Milk, and Water. Just a thought.

Can somebody help a girl who doesn't want to buy bigger pants here?

Somewhat Homeless

I'm usually a little more responsible than I had been the last couple of weeks. I'm not a math genius but I still had a sense of budget. What steered me away from these usual habits? The excitement of New York City or over reliance of money I thought was coming but had already came? Let me explain.

I had my first credit card used for the NYC trip expecting to stick on a budget until my Cherokee scholarship came to cover the costs. I had at that time asked bursar three times if the money had came and swore it never did. I didn't research how much everything actually cost in NYC, but still I didn't worry because I had money coming in, right?

Wrong!!! After the trip, I talked to people granted the same scholarship and realizing that they received their money two months before. I decided then to find out where my money went once and for all. After searching for fifteen minutes in their systems with a busy line, we finally figured out that the money did come in August but because of the conversion to OZONE showed my tuition costs just at $2900 without proper representation of the money showing up instead of it actually being $4200 and the money being subtracted.

So no more money until next semester? Nope.

This makes me panic. A little. Because of me being gone a week from work, my check went bye bye just this last Friday paying immediate bills. I also only have enough money on the credit card to get a week worth of gas. I need two. What to do?

Going to mom's for Thanksgiving is out of the question but is not as big of a deal because my dad's side lives near Norman so I won't be alone. However, my grandparents (I live with them currently) live thirty minutes away from school and work. Between the two, I need to drive everyday. I also don't have a dependable driver to take me anywhere. How can I make sure this gas money lasts?

Go back to my Grandparents house as little as possible.

This translates to spending nights in Norman. I don't really want to be a burden on anyone though, especially since this is just until the next paycheck, so my place of sleep will be on campus. I hear that the Union stays open 24-7 so I know I have a place to sleep. Kind of.

It's Thanksgiving Break this week so a lot of spots will be closed. I spent last night in my car in one of the parking lots, but since I kept my car off so to not kill the battery, I almost froze to an icicle. To make it worse, the shower at the Huff wouldn't spit out warm water for the first five minutes. It was also interesting to brush my teeth outside with the water bottle being the source for rinsing.

So far, I plan on spending two more nights in Norman, tonight for sure at the Union, before spending two nights back at the Grandparents house. I also know that I could easily spend the next Sunday thru Thursday on campus again with no issues, but I still haven't planned out this Friday or Saturday night out yet. Campus will be mostly closed and yet I will have to be in Norman for work both days. Maybe calling a friend is needed after all. We'll see how the gas tank is looking then.

I packed some food. That part hasn't been an issue yet since lots of free food was given out today. It may not be true in the future so I'll worry about it when that gets here.

I gotta write more details when this is over. Both mom and dad will freak when this is found out. However, I know neither one can help me right now and I got to do what I got to do. Carry on.

Looking Through My Phone

So I'm procrastinating, which is nothing new, and I keep trying to distract myself. There's only so many times I can check Facebook. I decide to look down my phone's address book to see who to start conversations with. I really don't have something to say today though (well, the information I want people to know). Still, I scroll up and down, up and down, over and over again. What do I see in these people anyways?

There's always family members on my phone. For most people, that's a duh. It's kinda hard to tell though who are actually my relatives. Who's really going to tell which Jessica is actually my little sister? Only I do!!!

There are old coworkers. The past is our main topic of choice. Past issues, past situations. They're nice to have to look back on and know one survives that era, but they shouldn't be best buddies with me or I to them. It's not far to our futures.

There's my girls. The ones I can send the most random crap to and not be left on the streets. We live and breathe each others happiness and make sure to make each other feel like bombshells after a pep talk when we were upset. Doesn't matter if we actually are. We feel it.

There's the flirts. Self-explanatory. Do I need to say more?

There's the buddies from school. The late night Pizza that we shouldn't have to celebrate a test being OVER!!! The library buddy when we actually do what we're supposed to.

There's the current co-workers that serves as a partner in favors and a frustration outlet of our one shared place.

There's the party people. If one's bored on a saturday night, they'll be doing something. Always!!!

I seem to have a lot of married couples. Both the wife and husband's number. No, none are in the flirt category. These are faithful couples that usually serves best as a place for advice and stability.

I'm single so no boyfriend's number. I've never attempt to keep my ex's number either. Everything happens for a reason. Move On!!!

Places I want to intern at someday. Keep my fingers crossed.

There should always be a mother (or for guys, father) figure and they should be in your phone. No questions asked! If one has both, great plus!!!

The gay guy (typically just women have these). The one to go to when having a fashion meltdown or when a bad breakup just happened. They'll make things controllable in no time. Plus it's the only time my hair gets fixed in general.

Lastly, there are those numbers that are only kept for references.

I'm sure there's more categories, but that's all I can think of. Fell free to add more.

Bad Timing

I think bad timing is part of life itself, or at least mine. I'm scheduled to work when I have fifty million papers to do and yet when I'm bored out of my mine, there are zero hours available. The gym is never open when I have the time to work out. The classes I want to take conflict with a class I need to take. Lastly, I met the people I want to meet at the worst possible times.

First was my first official boyfriend, Eric. I was a high school senior determined at the time to go to the biggest out of state school possible and be the next big journalist (before I learned of its censorship during the Bush era). He was a well-to-do college freshman studying Pre-Med and his plans were to become a physical therapist, find a good woman, and settle down near his parents in our hometown Tulsa. Nice in theory, but when you put an over-ambitious girl who still needed to grow up with a content Tulsa who tried to speed her up to do so, problems occurred. He was a great guy but breaking up with him was one of the best decisions I could make for myself.

Then there was Natasha, a woman at my work that was detirmined to distribute a R&B album ad had asked me to be her back-up vocals for that album. That decision wasn't really that hard to make since, although I like R&B, our creative styles didn't mix and she eventually decided not to produce it after all, but if she would of asked me to give up everything after college, maybe I would of considered it.

Guys never seem to like me when my life is normal and I know where I'll be in the next month (although now that I think about it, when does this occur). They ask me whenever I'm moving, he's moving or we have different directions we want to go. Joe, the new york guy, we had chemistry. We met at a TCC class we had together. However, a month after we met, he got a full ride scholarship to a liberal arts school in Chicago. Then there's Ben, a pre-med student as well, but I knew at this time that I was going to OU and had no bussiness starting a relationship when I would just leave. He still asks but I say no. Then there's the cute mexican exchange student I met at the OU gym, but to my luck, he's going back to Mexico after this semester ends. Crap! And there's always the losers at the bars trying to hook up with me, but I didn't think they really count. I don't by the way, but I'm infamous for being a tease.

The last thing, which inspired me to write this blog, involves my latest trip to New York. I went there to get connections. Of course though, I mean during the day, while I'm in the buildings of Time, Coste Nast, and others involved with the magazine and publishing industry. I go to a sports bar one night to relax and meet some of the locals. I wanted to see what it would be like to be there.

At first, it was simple, met some older ladies that were goofy as hell. Found out that New York drinks are quite stronger than Oklahoma's. Only takes two to do what four at home would feel to me. Of course, a guy hits on me, trying to get me drunk quicker with straight vodka shots, but he looked like he would pass out any minute, so I didn't feel bad bringing him the bad news. I think they found him on the bathroom floor later that night.

As my group of ladies were leaving, a blond sits at our table and smiles. I'm more of a black and brown hair man (except the ex I mentioned earlier was blond) but he caught my eye. There was chemistry but then, to impress me of course, he mentions (which I researched and it's true) that he's a touring guitarist for Keith Urban.

Shit!!!

This, unknown to anyone else, puts me in a tight situation, both career and reputation wise. I'm in New York to make connections. He's a connection. Yet, I liked him before I knew of this. If anything happens, even with not sleeping together, I'm still that girl that dates my way up to the top, and I don't want that. What to do. What to do.

I think I'm overstressing anyways to be honest. We flirted with texts for awhile and talk about who he's meeting at that moment, but I don't think he likes me as much as he did. And it's fine. Although I'd like to stay in touch, I understand if we don't, and if it's that easy to make important friends anyways, I'll just make more.

I'll make them on purpose and in an honorable way.

Traveling Tips For The Poor Person

I love to travel. Now that's out of my system, there's one thing I need to let out: I'm poor. It's not a new fact and it's not a scary one either. Certain things may just be more complicated to accomplish. I'm going to New York for the first time but only because, with this economic crisis, it makes things cheaper. At first, I hesitated because with being poor comes a stronger need to be practical and not waste money away, but I changed my mind. If there's not much hope to being rich within the next ten years, why just let those years go away? So maybe I can't get the five star hotel near the shores of Hawaii? There's many ways to explore beautiful places without breaking the bank.

1) I aim for places I know people at. Why spend a couple hundred dollars for a hotel when there's an old high school friend of mine willing to share space with me? There may be some inconviences such as how warm the rooms are and tolerances on alcohol, but a plus is definetly the local factor. They know the city/town enough to get the best pizza, hangouts, and getting connected with new people and all for a cheaper budget than I orginally planned.

2) If it's less than two days away (if vacationing for at least a week), drive! It saves so much money in the end, especially if it's last minute. For example, when I try to buy roundtrip tickets (with Southwest) to see my Dad in Albuerqurque, NM, it costs me over $500. To drive there and back costs around $125. Huge difference. This works great especially with groups because drivers can switch off and not have to worry about motel costs. If alone, unless extremely brave, maybe limit this standard to one day.

3) Look around for bargains. Almost anything can be found for a cheaper price. A $65 concert ticket through the venue can easily be $40 through other sources. Always research before dealing with scalpers. Unless the tickets are VIP or box seats, most tickets did not reach the $300 mark originally. Especially with the inventions of EBAY and Craigslist, there's no excuses!

There are many more tips, but that could go on for days. Many people want to still have lives, but can't necessarly live the lives Paris Hilton and Rhianna have. No fears. Traveling can still play a part of our lives by just being smart and a little less prissy.